Woke up and it felt like day one with no hope this morning. So many things to ponder and feeling helpless, sucker-punched, trudged off to work because hey, that's what pays for the shiny new tile in the kitchen, as if that's important. Put on my most apocalyptic T-shirt and staggered into a wonderful circle of people . . friends, family, neighbors who are all hurting too but were still able to lift me up. Hugs to you all, you are beautiful. I have loved the place I live, this country, and it's sad and disorienting to feel as if I am no longer a part of it. And everyone I care about, practically everyone I know is feeling the same pain today.
In the face of our new paradigm there are so many situations to worry about it's overwhelming. So many, as the temperature here soars to the mid 90s in November and the now irrelevant pumpkin festers and molds in the yard . . . Who Cares? Apparently quite a few people care and the words of support and encouragement in the face of such darkness are helping. Scenes of young people protesting . . . my heart is aching but also smiles a little.
Anyway I wondered what can I do, really, aside from dropping out of society. So I thought I would try to write a bit about what's going on. There's so much being written already, from Krugman's dire predictions to the usual shallow reporting on TV. But then there's this:
Old rich white guy Carl Icahn was celebrating at the Trump victory party when he noticed the stock market tanking. So he slips away home so he can play a billion dollars or so. He was a little disappointed because, dammit, the market got away from him else he would have played even more. All by himself in his old rich white guy house at midnight making another pile of money all by himself, while half of the country is in mourning. Priorities. Feels so cynical, self-serving, and frankly lonesome. And iconic of the people Trump surrounds himself with. What will his cabinet look like? I know these people don't look like me, I don't feel any connection with them at all.
I'm grateful for the company I keep. Thank you all for you perseverance and fire and heart and beauty and sadness and tears and joys.